America and the Tale of the Banished Ice Cream
by Mandelene
Summary: Due to Alfred's recent cavity, Arthur has restricted him from "indulging in the world's sweet riches" of candy, but today is Alfred's Judgement Day at the dentist's office. He demands his ice cream back, but will Iggy ever allow it? The AGONY!


**AN: WARNING! Beware of extreme fluff and the melodramatic hysterias of a young teen. **

**I've wanted to write a Hetalia fic for a while and the last day of my Spring Break seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so, even though it's just a one shot. Feel free to review :) **

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Everyone had their fears. For some it was spiders, public speaking, or death, and for Alfred F. Jones, it was ghosts.

But if there was one thing in the entire universe that was almost as bad as ghosts, it was dentists.

Going to the dentist was as bad as being told that you could never eat jellybeans again. It was simply heartbreaking. A fat old man would stand before you and scold you for indulging in the world's sweet riches of chocolate, lollipops, cookies, and soda. It was enough to make anyone distraught, let alone Alfred Jones; the soon to be hero of the world.

"Alfred!" Arthur called from the downstairs kitchen. "You have five minutes to come downstairs willfully and with gentlemanly dignity before I come up there and force you to comply."

Alfred grumbled some unfavorable words under his breath that would most certainly not be considered "gentlemanly".

Of course, Alfred was a firm believer in the fact that this was all Arthur's fault. He was sure the man had hired these people to walk around and torture young teens like Alfred's innocent self. No one in their right mind would consider becoming a dentist voluntarily. Only sick people would choose to torture people for a living. No doubt they were all sadistic communists and-

"ALFRED," Arthur bellowed warningly, obviously becoming annoyed at the lack of movement taking place upstairs. "Time to go, young man!"

Alfred sighed in a very put-out way. There was still the small chance that he would be capable of guilt tripping Arthur into bringing him back home, or at least into taking him for some ice cream.

Ah, ice cream. It was yet another wonderful indulgence that Alfred had been denied of lately after his last appointment to the dentist. Oh, pistachio, chocolate, strawberry, cookies and cream, rocky road, and even just plain vanilla. He missed them all so much. They had been very close friends indeed.

Needless to say, his last appointment hadn't gone too well, which was why he was making a return visit to the office today in order to get a cavity filled. Arthur had blown a fuse at the announcement of Alfred's lack of oral hygiene and tossed out all the foods in the house that could be remotely considered junk food. No more chocolate covered biscuits, barbeque chips, gummy bears, cotton candy, popcorn, and not even those "Jaffa Cakes" that Arthur had been rather fond of at one point. They were pretty gross, but still. The thought that he couldn't even have _those_ was jarring news.

He had protested, begged, and gotten down on his knees one day to plead his defense, but Arthur was having none of it, not until Alfred would learn to take better care of his teeth.

So, Alfred had set out on a mission after that. He made sure to floss after almost every meal, and brushed his teeth each morning and night, hoping against all odds that he would be granted the privilege of merely seeing his ice cream again along with its glorious icy bursts of flavors.

And thus, today became known as Alfred's Judgment Day. After getting this one, bastardly cavity filled, he might finally be set free into the beautiful world of candy once more.

However, he most definitely didn't enjoy the idea of some stranger prodding and poking at his teeth today, but he would do it for the sake of his ice cream. His blessed ice cream deserved it. He was more than determined to grit his teeth and pull through this horrible day with a proud sense of triumph. After all, he was the hero, and no damn dentist would strip that title away from him.

"Alfred," Arthur growled, now standing with his arms crossed in the doorway. "Downstairs. Now. I've had enough of this ridiculousness."

Alfred tried not to whine, he really did, but Arthur had no idea how painful this entire experience had been as of late. He simply couldn't help releasing a small whimper of discontent upon his older brother's ears.

"I won't be falling for your sorry little pouts today, Alfred," Arthur stated resolutely. He gave his little colony a nudge to keep him moving down the stairs and out the front door.

Alfred dragged his feet to the car with no evidence of a smile plastered across his usually carefree and joyful demeanor. He grumpily plopped himself into the backseat, determined to remain discontent with Arthur's presence. He refused to sit up front next to the "git". What a jerk, and his ice cream had to be the one to suffer his wrath.

Arthur sighed exasperatedly as he drove down the road. "You know, I only want the best for you. I know your still upset that you can't have any candy, but your health is more important to me than that gunk you used to consume on a daily basis."

"It's not gunk! It's the savior of horrible tasting English food," Alfred countered, furious.

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ENGLISH FOOD!" Arthur shouted, slamming his fist on the steering wheel. His cooking skills (or lack of) were an extremely sensitive topic.

"You wouldn't even let me have a scone, and you know how bad they are. You shoulda been happy that I even offered to try one!"

Arthur refused to respond to that comment. He swore under his breath and continued to drive, refusing to give in to the youngster's attempt at pity play.

"We're here," Arthur announced, pulling the car to a stop after a grueling amount of silence.

Alfred moodily stepped out of the vehicle and slammed the door closed, lagging behind his brother as they neared the dentist's office.

"Sit," Arthur ordered when they had entered the office. He walked up to the receptionist's desk to sign in while Alfred found a seat in the back, slumping down over his knees. This was so not cool. He didn't deserve this kind of endless punishment.

Arthur couldn't help, but feel a little sorry for the young colony as he approached his slouched form. The boy had been keeping up a grudge toward him ever since he had tossed out those horrendous snacks, and England missed the bright smile usually present on Alfred's face.

"Don't fret, lad," he soothed as he sat down next to the distressed teen. Alfred's leg was bouncing up and down in anticipation, frightened at the type of torture the dentist would come up with this time.

"I don't wanna do this, Iggy," Alfred admitted sadly, a horribly adorable pout working its way onto the boy's face. His blue eyes retained the same puppy dog look ever since he had been told he was no longer allowed to eat his ice cream. The jellybeans and gummy bears were just the frosting on the cake. His ice cream had been the breaking point.

Arthur sighed once again and patted Alfred's shoulder, "I know, lad. It'll be alright though. Would you like me to come in with you?"

Alfred gave a pathetic nod.

Arthur couldn't help but smile, and ruffled the teen's hair affectionately. "Very well, then."

The two sat in comfortable silence for a while, and Alfred watched as various children entered the office and began playing with toy trucks.

"I'm the policeman!" the youngest boy of the group exclaimed, smashing his patrol car into the leg of an adjacent chair.

"Fine, I get to be the firefighter!" another boy called out, but just as he was about to pick up the truck, the first boy accidentally smashed his car into the other's finger. The effect was instantaneous, and the boy playing the firefighter burst into tears.

"I'm sorry!" the other cried out in apology.

Then, Alfred stood from his chair and put his hand on the crying boy's back. "Hey, firefighters don't cry. You're the hero! You have to get back up and keep fightin' the bad things that get in the way. You can't let anyone stop you!" Alfred encouraged, flashing the boy a cordial smile.

Arthur smirked at Alfred's need to implant his ideal values of courage and heroism at every possible opportunity.

The boy stopped crying as hastily as he had started, and turned back to his game, renewed with a sense of strength and invincibility.

"Alfred Jones?" a nurse called.

Alfred groaned, but Arthur stood up beside him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"What happened to being the hero? I thought heroes didn't get scared," Arthur teased.

"Pft, who said I was scared?" Alfred said with feigned confidence. "Heroes aren't supposed to get cavities either," he mumbled as an after thought.

Arthur chuckled and guided Alfred down the hallway and into the empty room as directed by the nurse. There, Alfred took a seat in the rather comfortable looking torture chair, and watched helplessly as the nurse tied the paper bib around his neck. When she was finished, she smiled and said, "The doctor will be back in a moment," before walking out.

As she shut the wooden door behind her, Alfred got the sudden urge to jump up and run out.

"Not so fast," Arthur admonished, sensing Alfred's urgency to escape the scene. He stood in front of the door and tried to look as menacing as possible.

"Be a good patient, Alfred. Sit back and relax. Everything will be just fine."

"Iggy, can we come back another day? I'm really not feelin' so good right now," Alfred feigned a pained look.

"You look perfectly healthy to me," Arthur said firmly, but palmed Alfred's forehead anyway just to be on the safe side. "No fever. Now, sit down."

Alfred grumbled unhappily again, hesitantly sitting back down on the edge of the chair. Arthur walked over and pushed gently on his chest to get him to lie down properly and took a peek at the instruments laid out on the adjacent tray resting on the table.

Arthur picked up the small drill and pointed it at Alfred. "Be a good boy, Alfred, or I just might have to drill all your teeth. MWAH HA HA HA!"

Alfred glared at his brother seriously. "That's not funny, Iggy."

"Stop calling me that."

Alfred ignored him, but couldn't stop his leg from bouncing even harder than before.

Arthur frowned and walked around the chair, observing the various stickers and cartoons plastered on the walls in order to calm the children who came in here. After all, it was a pediatrician's office. He doubted Alfred could be comforted by the smiling dragon opposite him.

"Stop shaking, lad. I told you it would be alright. I was just joking before," Arthur tried to soothe, but he had never been an expert on this whole parenting ordeal. He stood behind the chair and rubbed the boy's head, then tickled his neck.

"Iggy, stop! Y'know I'm ticklish," Alfred fumed, but let out an involuntary giggle.

Abruptly, the dentist entered the room and shut the door behind him. Alfred just about jumped out of his boots, startled by the sudden intrusion. He shook Arthur's hand off of his head and gripped onto the armrests surrounding him for dear life.

"Ah, Alfred. How are you feeling today?" the dentist greeted.

"I'd feel better if I could have my ice cream," Alfred pouted, and Arthur shot him a look that plainly said "behave".

The dentist laughed, "You don't say? Well, then, let's see what's going with those sparkly whites of yours, hmm?"

He took a seat on the rolling stool next to Alfred and lowered the torture chair.

"Now, open wide," the dentist said gently.

Alfred thought he might _literally_ be sick this time.

"Nnhmhm" he protested, shutting his mouth tightly.

"Alfred," Arthur scolded, "Don't cause the doctor any trouble."

The teen sighed a very long sigh, and parted his lips just a fraction.

"I know you can do better than that," Arthur urged.

"But Iggy-" he whined.

"No buts."

Alfred would do this. He would do it for his ice cream. Anything for ice cream. So, he accepted his fate and wore it proudly. He shrunk back and let out a small yelp when the sick tooth had first been picked at, but managed to squeeze his eyes shut and distract himself as the dentist performed the necessary evil.

He would never admit it, but he felt much better when Arthur grasped his hand midway through the procedure, giving him some encouragement to keep fighting for that ice cream.

_Oh ho ho, he could almost taste it._

Cookie dough, mint chocolate chip, and butter pecan. Just a few more minutes of prodding. He could do this. He _would_ do this.

It felt like centuries, but at last the beloved words registered and resounded in his ears.

"All done!"

Alfred hopped out of his seat, released Iggy's hand and fought to remove the paper bib from his neck. In the end, Arthur had to help him eradicate the atrocious thing, but as soon as he was free, he stormed out the door and nearly skipped into the waiting room.

The receptionist smiled and asked, "Would you like a lollipop?"

Alfred turned around and was relieved to see that Arthur had stayed behind to talk with the dentist.

"Hell yeah!" Alfred practically cheered, tearing the cherry lollipop's wrapper away and sticking the candy into his mouth before Arthur would come barreling down the hall to take it from him.

He sighed contentedly as the sugary flavor dissolved from the heavenly stick of salvation.

"Alfred? You've just had your teeth fixed and cleaned, and you're already sucking on that monstrosity?" Arthur shook his head in disappointment.

Still, the elder was happy to see that his brother was smiling gleefully again, his tongue now red from the artificial coloring of the lollipop.

"Maybe we could go out for ice cream. Just this once," Arthur surrendered, regretting the statement as soon as he had uttered it.

"YES!" Alfred whooped in excitement. "Let's go, bro!"

The taste of victory in all its splendor was apparent when Alfred took his first bite of double chocolate fudge ice cream with oreo cookie crumb toppings. It had been almost too good to be true.

Arthur watched in disgust. "I wouldn't be too happy if I were you. You have another check up scheduled in six months, and if I see that you've obtained more cavities in that span of time, I won't be pleased."

Alfred groaned inwardly.

He wouldn't be able to survive the agony again. So he would enjoy this cone of ice cream while it lasted.

"Don't worry," Alfred assured his ice cream, "I won't let the mean jerk take you away from me again."

And thus, Alfred and his ice cream lived happily ever after.

For now.


End file.
